Shorty
by M. Briggs
Summary: Crossover of a humorous contest fic of Sonic the Hedgehog and Willow.


SHORTY

Sonic the Hedgehog, Willow and other characters in this story are copyrighted by their owners. All other material consisting of places, ideas, themes, terms, ect., are also copyrighted by their owners.

This tale is set where Willow's adventure took place.

MAIN CAST

Willow Ufgood: Snively Mad Martigan: Ari Fin Raziel: Rosie Queen Bavmorda(Queen Princess): Sally Acorn Princess Sorsha: Bunnie Burglekutt: Robotnik General Kael: Sonic Airk Thaughbaer: Griff Brownies: King of the Hyenas and Antoine High Aldwyn: King Acorn Rotor: Wizard Uncle Chuck: Wizard Tails: Baby

The picture flies over the landscape of forests and rivers and valleys. The scene changes to the coast of small tropical islands. The scene becomes forests again upon arriving over another coast. Soon, after traveling above the land, the forests disappear into valleys and plains and hills of small dirt roads.

Finally coming down upon a creek in a small grove, we end up behind a person riding a horse. The morning sun glimpses over the mountains on the curly hair of that person as he turns around and says:

"Ari!"

"Snively!" Ari said as he came fast approaching on his horse. He arrives by Snively's side and says:

"Ready? Let's do it to it," Snively said, as he looked to Ari. Ari moves the horse sideways parking next to Snively. Snively has a lesser pointier nose, bluish brown eyes, and rounder face than normal. The epic theme music to the movie "Willow" calmly begins.

"Ready and steady," Ari said, doing the handshake with Snively. "Queen Princess is moving out to expand her evil realm. But first she must capture a 'child' that can supposedly stop her."

"Some great solider you turned out to be," Snively replied, "You should have been a wizard. You have a lot of common sense for a warrior. I might give you the wand once I get it."

"Nah, lets get going."

"Yeah." They began off. (Theme music begins again but a little louder)

"Where are we going?" Ari said.

"Gotta pick up a few things at my village." Snively said, "Just through the forest."

They travel down a hill. The landscape became more barren approaching the crossroads. A meager skeleton is to be seen in a hanging cage as the theme music calms.

"Pah, too bad for him," Ari said, gesturing all slick from being released from one of those cages.

"Quiet you lucky fool!" The Skeleton said.

"Hi, Skelton." Snively said. "Well, Queen Princess is on the move, gotta run." He starts to go.

"Wait, don't go, I lost my tibia today, wanna see it?"

"No." Ari said, nodding his head cockily and riding off.

"Ahhhhh!" The Skelton said, flipping them off as Ari turned to ride with Snively. (Theme music begins again but a little louder than before)

Snively and Ari take a path into the forest. They come down a steep grade climbing a hill in the forest. They reach the top of a high point in the forest as a slight whistle comes with the theme music beginning again. From that point they see the rest of the forest stretching to misty mountains in the distance. Soon there's a break in the forest to a large grove. They stop and get water as the theme music plays normally.

They get back on their horses as they continue on their way. They have entered the forest again and are crossing a log over a small lagoon as the sun glimmers through the forest.

The theme music starts slightly loud as they pass by a waterfall and on down the bank. They continue on into the night where they rest under a tree by a fire as they are annoyed by ever increasing noise of the theme music.

It's day again as they head into the final stretch as the theme music is very loud and very annoying to the travelers who look up to see where it's coming from.  
>We hear the whistle again with the louder music as a bird unhelpfully tries to sing with the theme music.<p>

They get into view of the forest as the music is sooooo loud. They can hear the thunder of specific instruments. Pssss! (Theme music)

They get less than a football field away as the theme music becomes almost unbearable. They dismount their horses making a break for the village on foot.

PSSSSSS! (Theme music). And they cover their ears from hearing the pss sound of the instrument. The sound is vibrating the water in a creek nearby and leaves are falling off trees as the travelers plug their ears in agony.

It's very loud as they come upon the village. The villagers get out of their cue positions to help the travelers into the village before the theme music starts again. They are carried into the Nelwyn village and wipe their ears.

"You're late, Snively." A fat man said. He was taller than Snively. He had a red and gold cloak, a makeshift basic device up his arm.

"Hey, fat peck," Ari said, "Queen Princess is on the move. She's wasting no time to stop us." Ari has horns out of his dark hair and looked like a ram.

"Burglekutt, why do we have to face the music?" Snively said.

"You faced Queen Princess's spell of music on the way here, didntcha? BTW, you're rents due!" Burglekutt storms off as trumpets are heard. An old man is being carried on a chair to Snively and Ari.

"How do you do?" The old man said who resembled an old squirrel. "Now who hit who in the what now?"

"Lead Elwin, we must stop the evil Queen Princess," Snively said.

"And that you shall, Snively. Just take these power corns and throw it at her. It is easy as one, two, three!" The lead Elwin said, tossing the corns separately at Snively gently.

"Hey!" He moves out of the acorns as they thud on the ground.

"Ooops, sorry. Time is taking its toll on me, and I'm not as young as I use to be. BTW, wanna be my apprentice, Snively?"

"Sure?" He said, stepping forward.

"Just pick the right finger." The old man said, lifting his arm out. When he did, he started counting with his fingers as Snively was trying to pick one.

"Um, hey, could you count with your other hand?" Snively tried pointing to the chosen finger.

"Hold on…one two three, one, two, three…four five. One two three four five. And hup, and hey, and yo!" He holds out his hand like the live long and prosper sign.

Snively and the others are enthralled. Snively heads to his hut as his children play in the fields with others. He comes home to his lovely wife, Kia. But he didn't do the dishes, and thought she might be angry.

He opens the door to a raging Kia that sorta resembles Shychick: Snively!

He opens the door to a raging Kia that sorta resembles MistressAli: Snively!

He opens the door and steps in to a Sonique: Will.

"I know!" He says, interrupting her. "I'll have the chores done before I save the world."

"Nahhhhh" Snively says, retrieving his horse.

"Snively!" Ari said, "aren'tcha gunna see your lovely wife?"

"Nope, gotta world to save. Lets go."

"Daddy, daddy!" The children said, handing him a baby. "Take this, you'll need to protect the destiny's child to save the fateful future."

"Uh, thanks." Snively said, riding off with Ari. The village waved goodbye. Yes, the village, not the people.

"Simple geometry, Ari. Here, give me the protractor and compass." Snively said as he and Ari were up to their knees in maps trying to figure out where to go.

"If we go through this creepy castle we'll get their fifteen minutes sooner." Ari said.

"Maybe…" Snively said.

"If death dogs and soldiers aren't waiting for us. There might even be a dragon."

"But first, lets go to this small island. I have a feeling."

They turned for the castle and then the island. Castle, Island, Castle, Island. You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, do that with your right foot to know what it's all about.

"Who are you?" Snively looked around.

"Who are you?" A squeaky voice said.

"My name is Snively, I'm looking for Rosie Raziel."

"Raziel. That's me," A voice said, sounding louder behind Snively.

He turned around and saw a small muskrat rodent on a branch looking at him curiously, very very curiously. He turned and said, "Raziel?"

"That's my name, so don't wear it out, young hero." The rodent said.

"Okay, I won't." Snively understood.

"Did you get Naugus's wand?"

"Absolutely." He said, getting it out proudly.

"Then you know what to do." The rodent said, climbing down the tree.

"Then you know why I can't." Snively exclaimed.

"True, true. You are not ready yet, but when the key moment comes you will turn me into a beautiful young women. You are going to be the greatest sorcerer of all, btw."

Snively smiles and shrugs in agreeance.

(Theme music)

Snively, Ari, Raziel, two small guys-one a cowardly Coyote, another a Hyena-all head off for the journey. They pass an ice glacier, more forest, more paths, tall weeds, tall grass, waterfalls, and much much more.

They all hide from a platoon of death orbs and Swatsoliders dressed in appropriate attire for the story. But not this bunch, who are in the wrong attire and are wearing army clothes from such movies as Platoon.

"Fiction at its finest, boys," Ari said to the others. They watch as the platoon gets closer. The platoon passes them and they begin off.

"Wait," Snively said. They all duck again as they see two midgets in cloaks followed by a bald midget traveling together. One of the cloakees is holding something golden. They pass and Snively begins to move…but stops.

"Hold it," He says. They get back down as Sabin, Cyan, and Gau are making a good pace through the woods. Gau is holding something golden. They pass and Snively gets up slowly looking around.

"Not yet." He says, as the others are frustrated. They all look through and see a knight skipping along the path saying something what might be like 'da doot da doo', who is looking for something that might be golden. A sword fight begins with a mysteriously traveler who gets many flesh wounds.

(Theme Music)

The travelers are off again passing by mountains and ending up in a winding canyon. Rosie was been turned into a crow and watches it all closely from above.

"A friendly army is near, hurray!" The bird says.

The party passes through the canyons and comes out into a path of soldiers heading down it. One of the soldiers comes riding up.

"Hey, found yourselves great company–a bird, a Peck, and super Pecks." A tan goat with golden hair said. He wore a helmet and knights clothes. He took off the helmet.

"Glad you're safe, friend." Ari said, "Now let me join, Griff! I…I'll…I'll win this war for ya."

"Maybe some other time, friend." Griff said, "Hiya!"

"We don't need them." Snively said.

"We're going with them, we want to fight in war!" The two brownies said cheerleading and holding their hands, raising their arms above their heads making a W with their bodies to indicate the word 'war.'

"Think very…"

"Small advantages," One said, as the other continued. They headed off with the army that just kept coming.

"Havta wait it out." Snively said. So they waited.

Ten minutes later, they were still waiting.

"C'mon, c'mon…" Ari said.

Snively moved to see if he could view the end of the horses. He couldn't. He looked up at the crow. She shook her beak.

Twenty minutes later, Ari was getting angry. He began hitting and throwing rocks, kicking up dirt, "damn, sonofa…"

Eventually they got off again on their journey, with two less of them than recently before. They looked up at the sky, and the air, and the scenery, and the ground, and each other, and themselves, and to where they came, and to their backpacks, and to…

They came upon a castle as Ari said, "Aw crap!" From stepping in some.

Snively came up to the door and knocked. A small flap of wood open revealing a man with a thin mustache.

"Who are you?" The man said.

"We have come, "Snively said, "to turn this crow into a Wizard.

"Well I'll be gosh," The man said, looking to the crow. "Which one of you is wearing the magic slippers?" He looks to Snively's, then to Ari's. He sees the crap on it and faints.

"Low tolerance," Ari said. "Studying for another way in."

"Let's go," Snively said reaching for the door.

After barricading most of the castle and after making mocking references to the people on the walls recently drawn of silly chalk, Ari addresses Snively from the ground.

"Are you sure you'll be all right up there?" Ari said, looking to the bridge to a door.

"The main hero gets the high ground," Snively called back. Ari shrugged as Rosie as a white goat noticed something.

"Queen Princess's army! Close the gate, Ari!" Ari did so just as the army arrived.

"Break the door down!" A solider said. Ari hid behind some barrels waiting to fire a crossbow.

Behind Snively the door was mysteriously locked. He looked up as a monkey resembling Coconuts came down on him. Snively took the magic wand and pointed it at the monkey. The monkey reluctantly jumped into the water as the door burst opened.

Ari dropped the crossbows but stood up instead and yelled like Tarzan as another growl superimposed his voice causing the army to step back. Ari smiled and turned around to realize what was behind him.

"Here I am, ma!"

"Am Ma. I here!" The two-headed dragon of Dulcy and Sabrina said. Sabrina closest to the bridge breathed fire at a retreating Ari who made it through the gate and stood among the army. Ari looked to one solider, the solider. The Solider had dark blue silver white semi-long hair and his face was covered by a skull mask. His quills looked razor-sharp and he looked at Ari cockily.

"Sonic." Ari said.

Ari casually turned the other way expecting to see something just as ugly but (love at first sight music) found the charm of his dreams. Wearing a tiara and brown, and white, and a purples cloak was a Bunnie. She grinned down at him as if she looked high upon her horse. She had mechanical devices on both her legs, and on one arm.

He ran quickly back into the castle; the Army screamed like little kids and persued.

"Mondo uncool!" The masked solider said, "Findo the babio, daddio; divide your one-two punch at the smelly dragons!" Snively was mesmerized by the site of Sabrina whose head emerged above the bridge. He began to ran but she spewed fire at the bridge cutting him off.

Ari began fighting off various soldiers with success, Bunnie watching the whole time. The Solider doing the best he can to thwart the beast.

Another monkey landed next to Snively. Snively got out an acorn, dropped it on a board, causing it flash golden then turn to stone. Snively ran away from the monkey down the bridge where they fell through a weak board.

Snively scrambled up the monkey onto the bridge as Dulcy froze the monkey in place under the bridge.

"Look, ma." Snively looked in fear as Ari came catapulting to him. He landed on a monkey about to get Snively and handed Snively a sword. Ari jumped on the dragon as the door opened.

"The baby." A solider said, looking to the side of the building where the baby was. Snively started kick-boxing crazy-style at the soldiers causing all of them to fall back. He knocked out the two soldiers and landed on one another as the mask solider came in growling like a mummy.

Ari looked at the dragon as arrows came flying by. The scene changed quickly into a 2D video game of the Knight VS. the Dragons. Some kid hit buttons on a controller causing the Knight to do a kick flip of the dragon gaining 500 points. The Dragon used both fire and ice but the Knight dodged. The Knight did an upper cut to Sabrina's chin gaining 1500 points. The Dragon tried for a whack but just missed. The Knight finished off the Dragon with a Karate Chop gaining 5000 points.

The Dragon collapsed as Ari appeared again in the castle landing safely next to Bunnie. They looked at one another and kissed as everything went in slow-motion–bricks off the castle, arrows toward the beast, flames from above, banners of the old castle falling by the pair who kissed with passion.

The scene became normal as the Dragon crashed to the ground.

"The other army!" A solider said, pointing to the good guys army approaching the castle.

"We have cometh to rescue you," The Coyote said.

"We are your heroes!" The hyena said.

"Charge!" They both said.

Sonic held the baby watching as Bunnie and Ari fought side by side. He took a picture because the Queen Princess might be skeptical, and to add to his photo album because it might be the only one he gets. He rides off through the army.

"He took…the baby." Snively said, coming down a plank over the moat.

"Snively." Ari said, racing to him with Bunnie. "What happened?"

"He took the baby. It's hopeless." Snively had a bruise on his head.

"They took the baby to Princess's castle." Ari said.

"Uh huh." Bunnie said.

The army arrived upon the castle. The goat, Ari, Snively, Razel, the Coyote, the Hyena, and Bunnie made themselves all abreast up front. The sun was setting so they set up camp and planned to take the castle in the morning.

Sonic brought the Queen the baby and said. "The kiddo."

"Finally." The Queen Princess said. She was a squirrel. She wore a lighter black gown with a touch of gray. She had a crownish tiara with an onyx on the outside in the front, sapphire close towards the middle, and a larger single ruby dead center.

"There's one other thing. Bunnie has betrayed you."

"…Betray me? Prepare for the ritual!" The Queen Princess said, storming off. She came out and stood next to Wizards under the onyx-filled sky. One Wizard was a younger Walrus, the other an older hedgehog mostly mechanical.

"Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha–aahhhh ha ha ha! This isn't an army at all!"

"Snively protect yourself." Rosie said, leading him into a tent.

"This is not an army. You're pigs."

The army started moaning.

"Pigs…" Screams of agony was heard.

"You're all pigs!" She said, gesturing with her hands. "Ah, ha, ha…"

"No!" Bunnie said.  
>The Queen Princess looked and gestured down, "Ahtha!" Bunnie held her stomach gasping for breath. Soon, Snively came out and witnessed the army. He went back into the tent in doubt.<p>

"Don't lose courage, Snively." Rosie said.

"We can't win. The Queen's too powerful."

"Then change me back to my original form so I can undo the spell."

"Ok, I'll try."

"You'll do, do or…well, you know, there is no try." Rosie was ready.

"Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Towatcha towatha, vornbad a doke, towatch towatha, morein la loke, towatha towatha…"

"Snively..." Rosie said, turning into a penguin.

"Towatha towatha! Vornbad a doke…"

"Snively…"

A cat.

"Vorn a doke…"

"Snively…"

A rat.

"Towatha towatha…"

"Snively…"

A bat.

He continued on trying to get her right, he had been through just about every animal on the planet… "Towatha towatha! Vornbad a doke!" She changed into a human and was lying down. "Wowatha towatha! Vornbad a…doke!"

She got up and looked at herself. An old squirrel.

"Snively! I said a beautiful young woman. Look at me! You'll have to try all over again."

"Ahhh, rats." Rosie was content to keep her old form and undid the Queen's spell. They made plans to get in and carried it out the next morning.

Rosie and Snively were standing alone in front of the castle. Tents and junk scattered about them.

"The time is upon us, Snively. Ready?"

"Ready and Steady."

"Lets do it to it!" The army was approaching fast, the gate was let down. Soon Snively did a battle cry just like Xena and hit the drum. Ari, Griff, and the rest of the army charged into the castle where the battle ensued. The Queen was starting the ritual.

Griff and Sonic met.

"At last. We meet for the first and last time." Sonic said.

"Your funeral." Griff said. They started fighting perfectly. Perfect stabs, perfect jabs, perfect thrusts, perfect ducks, perfect swings, and well…perfect.

"I will win," Sonic said, "because I know. I have seen."

"Ah, bullcrap, you haven't seen that movie yet. It isn't even conceived at this time." Rosie, Snively, and Bunnie have ascended the tower successfully. They were just before the final room, and could hear the baby crying and the queen chanting.

The door burst open, the gusty wind blowing out the candles, and just plain buggin' the crap out of the queen.

"Rosie." The Queen Princess said.

"Stop the ritual, Princess." Rosie said.

"Princess, no!" Bunnie said, coming in.

"Traitorous child. Kill them." The Queen said, gesturing to the Walrus and the old Hedgehog. Who didn't move.

"What?" The Queen said, turning to them.

"You'll just know she'll win." The walrus said.

"Why not keep us around so we can use our uber mad magic?" The old hedgehog said.

"What a splendid idea. Now I know why I kept you around."

"Everyone attack!" Snively said, rushing into the room.

Sonic and Griff fought. They fought some more and went down the street. But one molecule slip by the goat ended it all. Sonic nicked Griff on the sleeve causing him to pass out.

"Nooooooooooooo!" Came a yell of Ari's. He ran through the army knocking out guys. He looked at what Sonic did.

"Get Zoran for me!" Griff said.

"You played Mayday?" Ari said.

"Nahhh, just loved that line."

"Ari! We finally meet. Lets do it to it!" Sonic said. Griff propped his head on one arm and watched casually.

"I will win, Ari. Because I know, I have seen."

"Oh, shut up!" Ari replied, starting the fight with the mask solider and doing it perfectly. They ended up all over the castle trying to beat one another. They ended up on a small platform fighting alone.

"I've gotcha now!" Sonic, charging for Ari. Ari dodged and almost struck Sonic.

"Ahhhh!" Sonic tried again, becoming impatient. He missed.

"Oh, third times a charm." Sonic charged, but Ari was ready. Ari flipped around off the wall and nicked Sonic on a quill. Sonic flew backwards in slow motion and falling as if in Street Fighter, "whoa- whoa- whoa- whoa- whoa…"

Ari looked up to a loud scream that came from somewhere atop the tower. The Queen Princess turns to the camera all alone, "Where did that scream come from you ask? You tell me? Mark is so busy with the knights he hasn't even wrote a decent battle scene with us in this room yet, humph!" The room starts battling.

"I want thunder!" The Queen said, getting on a stage that appears out of nowhere. The walrus and the old hedgehog are already on stage.

"I want the fire!" She said as the candles relit and grew in intensity.

"I want the ice!" She said as the frost came from the sky putting out the fire. "Oops!"

"Come thunder!" The lightning came instead, and filled the mucky brown rainy sky with tons of streaks of lighting. "Yes, yes, yes!"

"Come wind!" A tornado comes and encircles the castle. But not really doing anything.

"You're magic doesn't work, Princess!" Rosie said, "I call upon the starlight!" The whole castle dimmed as if in evening twilight as the air began to feel painful. Small glows glimmered through the air and swirled away into outer space.

"Ouch!" The Queen said. She started doing gestures. The walrus and the old hedgehog copied. It sent a rock shard towards Rosie who deflected it with Naugus's wand. She pointed the wand at the Queen and the Wizards.

"Nodda daaaa! Ah, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na!" The Queen and the Wizards hurled, twirled, and swirled through the air, eventually landing on the stage knocking the Wizards out. The Queen got up quickly sending a gravity burst back knocking out Bunnie and causing Snively to dodge away. The burst carried Rosie under a rock, and she dropped the wand.

Rosie crawled out from underneath the rock and went for the wand as Princess did. They struggled over the wand changing the evil room into a luxury house. The blasts from the wand from the struggle, changing the stool to a sofa, the potion table to a nice floral table, the cabinet to a hutch.

They stop.

"I will win, Rosie. Because I know. I have seen. That is to say, I saw." Rosie punches Princess but it is a fake one. The princess returns a fake punch. Punch again. Real. Real. Fake. Fake. They fall down at random struggling over the wand.

"What about me?" Snively said.

"Quiet, peck." They both said.

Snively walks over normally to the altar. Inscribed in the altar is the word "Nicole." And the baby is strapped down calmly on it. Snively lifts himself up to see the baby.

Rosie and the Princess take boxing stances and do final punches. Rosie just can't take it anymore, and gets knocked out by a punch. She floats backwards and eventually lands. The Princess looks to the alter and sees no baby. She looks to one corner, another corner, another corner, and yet another. She finally looks to the door and shuts it with her magic before Snively can escape with the baby.

"Going somewhere, Peck? Now place the baby on the alter."

Snively acts casual. "No, way."

"What?"

"Because I am a powerful wizard. Greater than Rosie even." He glances to his side. "I'm the greatest sorcerer."

The Princess mocks him by laughing.

"Greater than you!" He throws a power corn at the Princess.

She grabs onto it and struggles to counter it effects all the while Snively watches curiously. Soon she easily overcomes the effects.

"Is that all you got?" She asks creating juice from the powder she made from the power corn.

"Place the baby on the alter!" She then demanded.

"No!"

She turned to him. "I'm getting tired of that word, peck."

He looked at the baby. "Because I'm going to send her to a, to a, to a, to a place that can not harm her."

"Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! There's no such place."

"Watch me." He begins chanting as the Princess begins babbling about world domination. She sends out for the wand lying on the ground.

"Rethefell!" Snively said, moving his arms causing the baby to disappear.

"Huuuuuh! Why you!" The Princess said, picking up the wand at her feet casually and raising it up high above her head to cast a spell. But the storm she created absorbs her into oblivion wherever that is.

Snively stares in the Princess's former direction proudly as someone busts in.

"Did I miss anything?" Ari said.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh!" The Princess ended up behind a counter working at a nearby fast food chain. "No! Drat!"

Rosie gets up asking about the baby. Snively recovers it from behind the hutch as Bunnie and Ari embrace. Rosie and Snively smile and look at the baby.

The castle is surrounded by the victorious army and hero folk. The daisies and other flowers are blossoming in the garden as people wear fresh clothes and tiaras. An old woman hands someone a book.

"Here you go, Snively," Rosie said, "an online and business reference to the finest toupee makers around. Oh, and a book of magic."

"Thank you. Rosie." Snively took the items putting them into a magic satchel.

"Good bye, Snively." Ari said. "See you again sometime."

"Bye little one." Snively said to the baby. "BTW, who is it. Who is this baby fox I've been carrying around."

Bunnie lifts up the cloth revealing a cute little baby fox with two tails.

"Awwww." Snively said. "Ain't he cute."

"He?" Rosie said.

"What do you mean?" Snively said.

"In this fic, hun, Tails is ah girl!" Bunnie said. Except Snively, the whole crowed ROFLMTA'sO.

Snively enters his inner village perimeter as a random villager notices he has returned. He is greeted by the whole village as he parks the horse in the center of the field. The lead old man comes up and grasps Snively's hand in success.

Snively takes out a fruit and throws it up as Burglekutt approaches. The air is seen flapping as a homer appears and doo doo's on Burglekutt.

"Argh!" Burglekutt says.

"Kia!" Snively says. He jumps off his horse and runs to her as the view splits into three vertical pictures of three special fans. Whatever one he gets to, the scene moves away leaving us with a spectacular view of the village valley, forests, and mountains. The scene fades to black as that ending music begins.

-End of this adventure.


End file.
